Empty Chair Yourself

In as much as we promote our advocacy in Counseling and Psychology, human as we are, we have our own issues to deal with. Issues when left unaddress will consume us and leave us defeated. 

In example, with what happened to me and the person I considered a friend. A friend for me is not just a passer-by who chats about random things. A friend is someone I can confide about anything. Someone who does crazy stuff with me. Jump off the cliff or fly in the sky. Someone who will never turn his back...especially when someone new comes in.

Apparently that's just too ideal. 

So maybe we can try an empty chair approach to process ourselves. Funny but this is the usual technique that that old friend uses for her clients. I just came to wonder if she ever have used it for herself. But with the confrontation that took place this morning...I doubt it.

Yes I have wronged her at some point. She humbled herself through text that 'I hope I understand her bailing out on me at 11th hour'. So alright. That was humility that I failed to acknowledge. 

But she never laid down valid reasons as to how come she never saw my pain of jealousy over rejection when she started going out with her new friend? All she did was deny the ill-feeling she caused. Still claiming her ego overwhelming her head. Seriously, can you that be insensitive if you really did consider the friendship? 

That's just where I am coming from. I know I brought up long dead old issues but thats just part of my weakness. I will never hide these weakneses nor deny it. And yes I will publish it not just to gain sympathy but to share real stories from real experiences. Because I am not afraid to be judged. Now you can tell my strength.

Back to that special friend I am referring to...I still wish her all the best. This pain I am feeling will be savored until I cannot remember it anymore. Xoxo.

Nothing But A History

Your old tactic is way boring. Building your little army to justify your distorted thoughts against me. Gaining their loyalty by cackling more than like a hen. Oh well…you’ve done that before. It’s no longer surprising. I am staying put, crossing my arms, watch your pathetic ways and continue to be civil. I am hurting yes. 

A woman of emotionality normally feels this way. Sometimes I’d imagine sending you that ‘hate note’ I wrote. Or grab your ear and scream at your face. Other times I’d catch myself thinking how you would react if I throw my shoe at your forehead the moment you get in. But of course, I shrugged those off right away. I spent half of my life being mean and rude and sarcastic. Not to mention verbally abusive. I can compose beautiful cursing statement that will break your bones. 

But then, I choose not to do that anymore. There is this promise I made between myself and Him. I intend to keep that promise. Our world maybe too crowded, but HE can see us through. In the end, we will all be held liable for our actions.

 For that, I rest my case. ;)