Rainy Days

When it rains, it pours...just like marriage. 

That's how I answered during an initial interview for this job that I got now. But on rainy days...it's on again and I'm guessing it's gonna be like this until February next year. There are a lot of things thats going on in my head whenever I hear and see the rain drops. The more it gets heavy, the more memories are played in my thoughts. Interesting huh. Indeed. ;)

For one, I remember the rough days I went through when I tried to jump for a second job in the metropolitan of Cebu. Then I remember how impulsively marry the guy who impregnated me yet I knew then how cynical I am. And so I went on with the tough days where I remained tougher. If you've seen the "Wheels of Emotions", I think I've gone through all of those. Wow. I didn't realize I've been around for quite a little while already. Lol.

The best part is, after rewinding all those days in my brain, I just get up from the bed where I curl up with a pillow, and throw a big smile to Mr. Reality. 

Truly, experience is the best teacher. Regret is never in my calendar. ♥

Sembreak

"Dear kim kamustang bakasyon mo
Ako heto pa rin nababato
Bad trip talagan t'tong Meralco
Bakit brownout pa rin dito

Walang silbi sa bahay
Kundi bumabad sa telepono
O kaya'y kasama ang buong barkada
Nakatambay sa may kanto

Naalala kita pag umuulan SEMBREAK
Naalala kita pag giniginaw SEMBREAK
Naalala kita pagkakain na SEMBREAK
Naalala kita ilang bukas pa ba
Bago tayo ay magkita
Ako'y naiinip na bawat oras binibilang
Sabik na masilayan ka-ha-hah.."


This song popularized by EHeads is what I could always think of every Semestral Break. But ever since I started working, this is the only time that I got to experience real SemBreak. It feels soooo good! FSUU Rocks!

It may even be just one week but I am truly thankful for it. All I could think of is sleep, eat, watch movies, then eat then sleep. waaaah! 

♥

Throw Back Thursday

With all that's happening in the world now; flood, war, earthquake, persecution of tax robbers, tantamounting cases of murders etc. 

I begin to think that life can be too short and before we know it...woosh! we're all gone.

Human as we are, we crave for belongingness. Every step we make on a daily basis is leading towards a desire that we can gain approval from the society. That's how we make memories...with different people in different places.

Before my heartbeat voluntary stops, let me enumerate the events and experiences that have been saved in my memory bank with interest worth more than a gem or diamond.

First, when I met my true/forever love in the person of Armel. Amidst the storm we've gone through, the very long time that we were separated by fate, our path has miraculously crossed again. God gave us the most beautiful angel who helped us build a stronger foundation. So we are simply inseperable now. 
Secondly, when Thirdy and Yana was born. Watching them grow in a fast pace is a combination of struggle and joy. Nevertheless, they always give me a reason to persevere. 
Thirdly, with the last three working industries I was with. In the BPO, where I met a lot of genuine people and several good friends [Mildney, Rena, Bea, Farah, wave12, team Mirai, team Jomar and all the billing peeps, wave11 of CVG], those days when we would just pick at each other and just laugh it out, those days when we press the mute button to halt the customer and continue with our nonsense showbiz chitchats. Those days when we attack the beaches, hit the videok bars or go malling and even join the eat-all-you can pizza. Considering that I spent my 20s in that environment, it was just filled with awesomeness. With the academe world, I couldn't exactly remember how the work/management itself tore me down (emotionally and psychologically) but the support system I had from my subordinates was exceptional. We were considered as the Aces among their past employees in that office but it's funny how they hate it. Oh well. Since we all live in the same city, we still got time for a get-together occasionally which means the friendship evolved out from that never-mind-place nightmares. You don't wanna hear it.

Lastly, with my forever bff Lyn & Eds, it's a rare occasion to remain friends since you were a grader till the 30ish. I cannot imagine how many chapter it would be if we are to write the chronicles of CAROCEL. ;)

 GOD I'm so bless! ♥

The Holy Alphabet

        A-lthough things are not perfect
        B-ecause of trial or pain
        C-ontinue in thanksgiving
        D-o not begin to blame

        E-ven when the times are hard
        F-ierce winds are bound to blow
        G-od is forever able
        H-old on to what you know

        I-magine life without His love
        J-oy would cease to be
        K-eep thanking Him for all the things
        L-ove imparts to thee

        M-ove out of "Camp Complaining"
        N-o weapon that is known
        O-n earth can yield the power
        P-raise can do alone

        Q-uit looking at the future
        R-edeem the time at hand
        S-tart every day with worship
        T-o "thank" is a command

        U-ntil we see Him coming
        V-ictorious in the sky
        W-e'll run the race with gratitude
        X-alting God most high

        Y-es, there'll be good times and yes some will be bad, but...
        Z-ion waits in glory...where none are ever sad! 

     Always remember,the shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your
  knees and the floor.  For the one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything!  Amen.

  In HIS Love & Service,
        Pastor Allen

=========================================================================

I personally do not know Pastor Allen, I just click on God's Minute website and started subscribing since 2005. In as much as I want to spend time scribbling the holy bible, it frustrates me when I bump into a verse that I find confusing.

It's better to have it already interpreted. Every email I get is worth sharing and this one is just way way inspiring. 

♥

At 120lbs.

Finally able to shed 10 pounds after two months. 

Had there been a crash diet involve I think it would be minus more than 10. But I sure am happy already. Christmas season is coming and it's a time to binge on good foods. I just hope my body is done with its plateau stage and the remaining fats would just voluntary do their grand exit. 

It makes a real difference with age. Back in 2008 when I first hit the gym, I would survive the 2-hour cardio and PRT everyday. As in I'm talking Mondays to Sundays. Rain or shine. Whew! Gone are the days. I barely survive the 1 hour, 5 days a week now. Last week I made an inquiry in one of an inviting fitness place in the city, for awhile I was determined to get a kickstart with them by last week of October. I later realize I couldn't do it. Zumba is my second choice. Hopefully before I turn 31. ;)

Gestalt Prayer

"I am I. You are you. I'm not here in this world to live up to your expectations, nor you to live up to mine. If by chance we meet, it's beautiful. If not, it can't be helped."

Yes, I've learned this principle and have been applying it for the longest time. Half of my life, I've been very independent. I depend my decisions to no one so at the end of the day I can take the full responsibility of my actions.

Until change comes along which is inevitable. I don't even know how to start spelling it out. All I know is I am genuinely happy with the person I am with now. Only that, being with this person entails compromises. Like we have to be in his parent's house because of a lot of valid reasons. 

This is just one of those times when I feel that every angle of my movement is measured and counted. I'm starting to not like it. Tsk tsk. 

Insecurity as a Cancer

No one would believe me if I say I am insecure. Unfortunately, I am...now. I loathe the feeling. I hope it's only because I am still fat after five months from giving birth. 

Here's the thing, I still stalk my partner's ex fiancees' FB page. I still check her old pictures which I already saw. Though I laugh at her stupidity as manifested by her grammatical errors on her status messages, I still end up entertaining this insecurity. If I am to assess it, it's already at stage 4. Benign. Whew!

It's in my full awareness that I have to work on this. First and foremost, Lemra and I undoubtedly love each other too much. I am so positive that we are inseparable. 

I think that's where I need to dwell on. Bow. 

Ber-Months

This Christmas I'd be lying if I only want world peace. In God's will, I wanna be able to buy gifts to my loved ones.


Anyhow here's my Christmas list;
1. Mama and Nanay - jewelry
2. Tatay and Babe - sando
3. kiddos - toys
4. lil Sis - abubut
5. Rena - blouse
6. girlfriends (numbers is yet to be determined) - abubuts
7. boy friends - no idea yet
8. myself - laptop, S4 (lol)


 I'm still debating over thoughts of including my _ _ _ _ on the list. 

♥

Lost Mail

Dear Papa,

I went to church last Sunday and the message I got from God Almighty was, "As a father of your children, the greatest gift you could give is to love their mother." 

I want to thank you for sending me to school that I am able to grasp and interpret the message preached to us. It means, please love our Mama with all your heart and mind. Being said so, it is very unbecoming for you to declare that you love her yet you have another woman visible to all our neighbor's sight. It took me until this age to finally tell you that I cannot take it anymore. Pretending to be okey that you have a mistress is no longer acceptable in our household. And please quit blaming your childhood years. Your past is never a basis of the choices you make now. If we cannot suffice your emotional need, then you should have never started this family in the first place. 

But what choice do I have? I'm just your daughter. If it's not for you I would never be here. All I can do is to pray. I will pray without ceasing. 

It's not that I hate you. It's not that I want you to walk away. I want you to come back to us. I want you to leave your woman and just appreciate our value. I want you to please love our Mama back.

I hope that's not too demanding.