Like a Thief in the Night

Death is what I'm talking about. With a heavy heart while tapping the keyboard, I couldn't help but ask why do we all have to die without knowing when???

What happened is I got a skype message earlier from a college friend telling me one of our closest friends is gone forever. I called the number of Jo (that's his nickname) and talked to his sister who confirmed that indeed he left the world last night at 8:30 pm. He wasn't just my co-writer in the school paper, wasn't just a fellow student leader and debater, but he was special. Our togetherness had an impact. We would stroll around the city until late night laughing at each other's joke. We would eat lunch together. And he was so generous. He would even spend his spare time teaching us how to solve Math problems. He was so Britney and Charice fanatic. That is just so unforgettable right? A year after I graduated (he was in his last year in College) we had a night out in a videok bar and I remember exactly what he said "Ten years from now let's go back here and talk about our success."

Years passed and we all had our own lives but whenever he comes home in our city he make sure that we see each other. Until sometime last year he told us about an ailment that stricken him. There's a growing node in his left leg and he had difficulty walking. True enough, we had a group date again and indeed his left leg somehow shrink oddly. He told us he's getting better. January of this year was the last time he got hospitalize again. That was the last time we talked. We only exchange text messages but he never said anything about his condition.

I wish he did. I would have seen you Jo for the last time. But of course you are home now with Almighty God. It's just that I miss you too bad.  ;(

Childhood Days

Among the human's developmental stages, Childhood is the most crucial. It is the foundation of how we draw decisions when we become adults. Since this stage starts from 5 years old to 12 years old, it's a long period of collaborating your experiences with friends, society and most of all your family. How these people treat you and took care of you greatly affects the development of your personality.

Like for instance my online student last night who is 50 years old and divorced. Our conversation went into something personal. She asked me if I have kids and I asked her back. I was quite shocked when she said she's always been afraid to have kids because she had a very unhappy childhood. She was abuse by her mother. Having no child was also the main reason why her ex husband divorce her. 

When she asked me how was my childhood, I began to recall. I stopped at the memory when I was 10 years old. My parents had to go away to work and they entrusted the care of me to our neighbor. I only get to see them once a month. I was lucky I was never bullied nor mistreated. In fact, their eldest daughter is my closest friend and I call them Mama and Papa too. We were literally poor. They couldn't give me an allowance and couldn't even buy me a recognition dress. But I was cool with it. It wasn't that way forever though. When I was in second year high school, I've seen my parents fruit of hard labor. They built a new house and got a passenger jeep.

Different folks with different strokes goes with different experiences. May it be bad or good, the most significant thing is we move forward since we are to follow the sun of tomorrow. Going backward is going nowhere.

Summer Breeze

Soaking under the sun is what defines summer for me. If I have a lot of money I would spend it by touring the best summer places in the country.

But since I'm just an ordinary woman with an ordinary life, me and my friends chose to take a peak at one of the renowned tourist spots of Caraga Region. It's called Bucas Grande Island known for Sohoton Cave. Though I've already been to this place a year ago, I still couldn't get over the feeling that such magnificent place is rested here just 2 hours away from home.

This group of islands welcomes you with a lot of surprising spots to see. Such as the Hagukan (snoring) Cave where you have to float in order to get in, the sanctuary of non stinging jellyfish (white,blue and brown colors), lagoons, crystal cave where you will be amaze by its sparkling beauty when you get in. It is surrounded with solid humongous rocks and mountains where the trees are still untouched. The white sands by the shore is unbelievably tempting. It glares at your face that seems to let you just stay in the place for good.

If you love spending summer days in beaches, this place will surely leave a mark in your heart and you will swear to visit it every summer season. Or even wanting to get a property and build a rest house.

So enchanting that is. Prepare to be in awe when you get here.

(an entry for my write-for-a-dollar thing..hope its ok to post the same write up here.)

Click for a Dollar

I've been anxious lately about our increasing bills, overdues and all of that sort. Then one weekend I bumped into my friend who told me about this Bubblews website where you can write anything under the sun and you can earn dollars. She was ecstatic in showing me her paypal account with the figure in it.

Today is my 2nd day Bubbling in the site and yes I could see the number increasing. Whether it's scam or not, I think it's worth a try. After all I still got my online tutorial and article writing sidelines.

And I hope our finance office would never do those surprising deductions again for it was the real start of my messy budget.

Please Lord, help me end this. You know very well I don't like being poor.lol!

Certified Multi Tasker

Thank God it's Thursday!

I only had four hours of sleep last night. It's been like that since this week started. Working harder is my motto until the end of this month. Last night after having dinner at my parents house, my mother started showing her disappointment again. She'd been asking me about when will we return their van and finally we decided to return it today. I felt the embarrassment of my husband. They were expecting we made money more than just what we have to spend. Oh how I wish it was like that.

Sensitivity strike in when I look at my mother's eyes, I knew then what had been sprinkling in her mind. So I decided that we head home an hour after dinner. While I got busy tidying up our house, my heart ached thinking about how we got into this financial constraint lately. I whispered a prayer that we may be able to get through this soon.

Truly, God is never asleep for a friend of mine who owns a small company sent me a message that I can start working for him as an Article Writer. I was in awe. One way or another, there will always be ways and means to survive without breaking rules.

To summarize my career from today; Office worker, Online Tutor, Article Writer and a BUBBLER!!!!

Have a nice day ahead everyone!

The Datastickies

Ever heard about this graphene made paper-thin strips that you can just paste and strip on and from your device to transfer data? You've read it right. They call it Datastickies- the USB Flash drive of the future. Some Indian tech savvy are looking into enhancing it so it will be out in the market soon. According to Science, "Graphene is pure carbon in the form of a very thin, nearly transparent sheet, basically one atom thick. It is remarkably strong for its very low weight, and it conducts heat and electricity with great efficiency."
It can store up to 32 gigabytes of file size every strip and you can write down tiny notes on its surface. It comes with variety of colors too. 

With Datastickies around soon, what do you think will happen to the USB flash drives? 

Check http://datastickies.com/#WhyPage

What do you wake up for?

Waking up early has never became a habit for me. But with time, it just change not by choice but by determination. So I got up at 4 in the morning today, turned on my laptop and prepared for my online lesson.

Yes, as early as 5:00am I entertained Japanese folks who are more than eager to learn the English language. I've been doing this for almost two years now and it's been rewarding.

Everyday I would pray for strength and patience. Physical strength to sustain me in surviving the activities for the whole day. Patience that I may survive the odd of settling the pile up bills and future preparation to provide my family a decent life.

I wake up for them. They are the sweetest source of my energy.

What about you? What do you wake up for?

Pork/Chicken Adobo

Every Filipino household would cook adobo in a daily basis. We undeniably love this stapled recipe in our culture.

To conclude today's routine as a Career woman and a Household Manager at the same time, I cooked adobo for dinner. My own version of adobo is a mixture of pork and chicken meat. For one, my husband is not a big fan of chicken while me and the kids are so into it. To make it fair, it has to be a combination of both.

Nothing is change with how it's done. Just saute the spices (garlic and onion), wait until it becomes brownish and pour the meat into the pan. Drench it with soy sauce, vinegar and water. I cannot detail its measurement since I do the cooking by heart and I just estimate everything. (Something I got from my father). Then add the pepper leaves to make it smell good.

Bring it to a boil and wait until the sauce is slightly sticky.

Voila! My family enjoyed digging in and filling in their stomach.

Until tomorrow Bubblers!

Battling Rejection (part II)

Earlier I posted about some traumatic experience with my previous employer and that it's about time to face them again before they file a case against me and get to the RTC.

Since I signed for a Scholarship contract entailing some years of return service which I deliberately breached without a word, I have to settle my debt. Yes I am still indebted. Luckily, the HR Manager is an Ambassador of Goodwill that he tries to connect people who got ill feelings with the Management. And I agree with him. It's time to bury the hatchet and cross the bridge. With a positive intervention of my BFF here in the office, I hope this will come out safe and accepting to the person whom I will address it to.

So here's a draft of my response-letter-to-be;
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Dear Maam;

May the grace of God Almighty be with you always.

For two years I kept my silence and I really am sorry. I left the school with a heavy heart and sworn of never coming back and I humbly ask for your forgiveness. Yes I have received the warning letter mailed to my parents home address and I chose not to reply until now because it took me all this time to finally get back on my feet. Maam, please know that it never slipped from my mind how indebted I am of SJIT. You offered me a great deal of becoming a scholar in a very prominent University and I have gained a lot from it; knowledge and experience wise. I owed it all from you. SJIT molded me to become a leader, a follower and most of all what a Guidance Counselor should be. Thank you so much.

With that being said, please accept my offer to settle the expenses you have spent for my graduate studies. My current source of living may not be that high to be able to pay it off right away but I am willing to come into terms.

I am looking forward for your positive response.
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So what do you think Bubblers? Will I really finally come into settlement for this? (Crossing fingers here)

Battling Rejection

This is supposedly done last week but I had to get my act together before coming up with a reply letter to a somewhat "summon" from a previous employer which I received 2 years ago.
Let me take you back to the year 2010. It was the glory year of my life or so I thought it was. I landed a job in my alma matter during College. In just a matter of 6 months I got promoted. They offered me a graduate studies scholarship in a prominent University which I wholeheartedly took. Everything went smooth sailing until I sent some memos to all Offices regarding an admission exam for Freshmen who are already enrolled by the way. The letter contains some defense statement to the administration that  I purposefully indicated to avoid raising of eyebrows. But to my dismay, the President herself misinterpreted it and perceived it as something 'personal'. The chain of disappointing events began. Our VPAA wasn't renewed and was replace by a mediocre who was a pathological liar. Until such time that I was reprimanded to explain myself in 24 hours as to why I filed for a vacation leave with "personal reason". I stayed humble and submitted to everything they want me to do. I even kept mum when I was ask to sign the memo about having an assistant and I was never given a feedback. I could go on with a long list of those psychologically disturbing treatment but the last straw was when they denied my October 31st salary. I begged for it for I only had 20 pesos left in my pocket and I needed 25 pesos to go home. They never listened, they continue with the mocking and I could see their fangs. What's worst is that they were too proud to call themselves "christian".

I headed out of the gate around 5:30pm and went back to my office to finally get everything. For me, it was the place that I never want to set my foot on again. It caused me emotional distress big time. 

For one year and 11 months I chose to work at home. It was the safest place. To be in isolation. I am oblige to no one and I had more time with my family and few close friends. 

But somehow, God Almighty exhibited His love for me again. Another career opportunity came through a previous colleague. It was worth a try for I've been with this employer for seven months now and it feels so homey that I am more than positive this is my last stop.

So now, I'm still trying to figure out how my response letter to that "summon" should sound? Or what will I even have to say? Gosh.

The photo above was taken 9 years ago when I got my first symbian phone. It was when I couldn't get enough of "Selfies". Somehow it became my most favorite. The photo simply represented the core of my being: A THINKER. Rule of the thumb is, your head is place above your shoulder so it is suppose to rule us when making decisions. It just dawned in me, I will be 32 by November. I was only 23 when I hopped into marriage and embraced the biggest responsibility of them all. I was the breadwinner. I worked 12 hours a day, 6 days in a week. Sure I earned more than what is needed but it was never enough surprisingly. One responsibility came with another and when I noticed I was only rowing the boat alone I started feeling helpless...eventually I got tired. My ex husband left me for another woman and I went on with my life.
Though we share custody to our children, I could still feel the burden of responsibility is more on me. Is this because I'm the one who is more futuristic? or its just that the father of my kids never change?

It never stop there though. I ran into my former boyfriend when I was in College who had an existing rift with his father. We both declared the love for each other that never decayed so we decided to be together since he is still single and I just got single. The first few months living with his old folks were very smooth. There was an awkward feeling but it was pretty manageable. He and his pup run their business together for the longest time. Until one morning, that rooted conflict between his father was ignited. We decided to move out.

Now, he is of no career and no specific source of income. It's an added responsibility again. Not to mention he's ongoing unresolved issues between his sisters. They called me up and asked a favor that I take care of their brother. That simply means, he is fully entrusted to me.

Now what...? Perhaps, much is given to me since much is expected. The very reason why I'm awake this early to start making ends meet. Whatever. Life is just full of surprises and I'm glad to be in this bubbling community. :D

Bills & Means

The older we become, the bigger the bills get.

Just when I am so freaking out to pay off my over dues before this month ends and the internet just isn't in the mood to cooperate.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgggggggggggggggggggggggg!!!!

Are you kidding me right now? :/

I hate living beyond means and so I always try to work my ass out to at least earn more than what I need. I'm so done with living in paycheck to paycheck but I think I'm going back to that direction again.

What is happening????

What's Within

                                Morning Walk

                      Amidst the dew of early dawn,
                      I took a morning walk.
                      And along with me, I took a Friend,
                      For I felt a need to talk.
                      I unburdened both my heart and soul,
                      And spoke many things:
                      Of plans gone wrong, of failure's pain,
                      And how to live with shattered dreams.
                      My Friend just listened quietly,
                      And uttered not a word.
                      For it was His time to listen,
                      And my time to be heard.
                      His sympathetic ear brought peace,
                      As we walked this earthly sod.
                      And I learned to trust life again,
                      On my morning walk with God.
                                         
                                          Poet, Barbara Cagle Ray