Tough Times Wont Last. Tough People Do (Day 10)

In my long term memory it shall remain,

How you were and how we’ve been,

Locked, sealed, and buried,

Into the depths of being that bled.

Only the spiral habit of time can tell,

Or if there’s any truth in a wishing well,

Let it not be all covered in vanity,

For there shall prevail a veracity.

This soul of mine is finally free,

Back to its banter nature as idiosyncrasy,

Hushing, wining, humming and whistling in music,

As I stare at you from afar like a mosaic. 

Tough Times Wont Last. Tough People Do (Day 9)

Today was my first time to park 'big boy Arsenio' inside the campus. I just felt extremely ecstatic. Haha! (Hashtag goals). Though I almost hit that big crawling truck in the highway, I still thank God for sparing us from it. I should be more careful next time with overtaking. Wohoo!

Whole morning is packed with tasks to be completed. A lot of people are on the waiting list and some other works to do thats left unfinish. Indeed, gravitating in this office is a mortal sin. Wink.

Just when I thought I'd have a vacant afternoon but then God worked His mysterious ways again. It became an unending flow of entertaining the thought of what-to-do next and I landed in the Clinic. Let's just say, the Nurse assigned found a confidante in me. It's something I never even exerted an effort on. Another proof how plausable it is to just be "YOU". 

That being said, looking back...I was never wrong with my decision. I often stand for what I know is right. It's 'often' now. Not 'always'. I've learned lessons in the past. Wink.

P.S. This series of journal might only be until 10 or 15...there is nothing to squeeze anymore. Now that's really fast. lels!

Tough Times Wont Last. Tough People Do (Day 8)

It's another manic Monday and I couldn't help tap my own back for driving flawlessly. Traffic, annoying drivers, sidewalkers no longer intimidates me. Whew!

And I brought my mini speakers. Installed it in the office PC and darn them music is overly soothing. I can work better with music playing eversince. It's never been this peaceful in the office today. No eye sore. No noise pollution. Haha! But their absence is not an indication of peaceful living of course. Keeping them close and even "sleep" with them is by far the most crucial yet most rewarding when passed through.

As I laid down envoking my right for a rest, I thought of the future. I imagined facing the "oldie" one day. I'd smile and will remember what my 3rd year high Adviser has shared to me. She was once betrayed yet she never gave up. She went on with her life as a teacher, forgave the person and never stopped praying. And she never quit her job because she thought of her children and their future. Years passed and she's enormously blessed. She will be retiring next year with a priceless memories.

Someday, I will be like her. I'd meet a newbie of my age now and will share the same story. How this first challenge in this Godly community will test our faith. Our perseverance in fulfilling our commitment to serve and most especially, my commitment to take care of my family. Bow.

Tough Times Wont Last. Tough People Do ( Day 7)

My week ended with a bang...my feet is taking me to a place where unwinding is free. Can't wait to smell the sea breeze. I'm gonna walk barefoot on the sand while enjoying the sight of this starry night. And perhaps I'll take a dip into the water.

It's a beautiful life after all. The answers to my questions are slowly revealing. Indeed, God is never a
sleep. One doesn't have to be religious or churchgoer for Him to see through. You just have to knock.

Now I can't wait for next week's happenings and the next after that. xoxo

Tough Times Wont Last. Tough People Do (Day 6)

Eight hours a day in the office seems to be too short lately. Whew! When I arrived this morning, a 2-hour conference took place right away. I just had a minute for peeing and water refilling. This is it! I have a job. Nice!

beachin

The usual schedule for the afternoon followed. A group process for Career Guidance and some random chitchat with Maam Pretty Nurse Mildred. This woman always reminds me how rewarding it is to be transparrent. There is freedom. And it's priceless. 

After the Grade 10 session, another conference with a parent waited. I wonder how come I am not feeling stress. I think it really helps when you sleep before 12 midnight. haha! Or this is what I am born for. Managing stress with an art. 

Everyday is getting exciting. Truly, life is but a beach. You learn to dive and swim with all your might. Later, the wave itself calms down and teaches you strokes that you've never tried your entire life.

That being said, I think I am fine. Thank you GOD! 

Tough Times Wont Last. Tough People Do (Day 5)

It's amazing how I am recovering this fast. Like really. I forgot to even make a draft for todays' countdown. haha!

My neurons are wired in a different manner I guess. Or maybe it is just that it is my daughter's birthday today. I got caught up with making her day meaningful while juggling with my activities in the office.

I still cannot tell what happens when it gets idle. Hhmmm...that woud be exciting.

xoxo

Tough Times Wont Last. Tough People Do (Day 4)

Today is filled with surprises.

One, when I got into the office I just sang random songs. When 'my friend' came in I couldn't feel that old sting. As I sat down facing my computer and pulled up some important files...I was like, Oh my...this is it. That familiar self I have encountered after the rage is thrown aw

image by google

ay. I become a floater. Insensitive. Nobody else exist except those who matters. 

The day went by so fast that I had a hard time squeezing my schedule. Nevertheless, it's never been this productive. This is the advantage of being a problem-solver I believe. Thank God for my parents who raised me this way. Like that donkey in a story who was force to be buried alive. Instead of letting his self being covered by those dirty soil, he shrugged off every shovel until he got up on the surface. 

There's nothing much to say for now. :D 

xoxo

Tough Times Wont Last. Tough People Do (Day 3)

Today I learned how helpful driving is in my psychological state. It makes me more conscious about the relevance of the future. Beating the traffic jam requires all your senses to work. Underdisciplined drivers just pop up in every junction and if you don't make yourself ready, you'd panic and who knows what's next. You have to really think in advance, expect the possibilities while maneuvering the wheel. 


My morning is welcomed by brushing up the Career Guidance group process and meetings. Lunch break came and I tried to sleep but instead I remember what I came across last weekend. In the quest of looking for answers, I googled testimonies similar to what I went through and here's the catch;


    "I’m talking about the  betrayal of disengagement. Of not caring. Of letting the connection go. Of not being willing to devote time and effort to the relationship. The word betrayal evokes experiences of cheating, lying, breaking a confidence, failing to defend us to someone else who’s gossiping about us, and not choosing us over other people. These behaviors are certainly betrayals, but they’re not the only form of betrayal. If I had to choose the form of betrayal that emerged most frequently from my research and that was the most dangerous in terms of corroding the trust connection, I would say disengagements." (an excerpt from the book of Brene' Brown "Daring Greatly")

I just love how the words are string together. BETRAYAL OF DISENGAGEMENT. I never knew such do exist. Anyhow, something has poked me. It said; ask yourself what have you done too? It must had been the holy spirit because I asked for it. 

So...I realized, I must have been really selfish. I should have brought it up early on. I should have not let it pile up. I should have just admitted it right away that I was starting to feel extra jealous, and was so anxious about rejection. 

But going back to what's real now. I will still move on. I always know my cognitive direction and one day, for sure I'll be wearing that enigmatic smile again and bury the hatchet. Xoxo. 


P.S. First group process session went very well though. 

Tough Times won't Last. Tough People Do (Day 2)

I decided not to drive today. During breakfast Mama asked me how is it in the office. So I shared what has happened and it became all clear again. The process of fighting it off from my head started playing.

I began to sing Adele's 'Someone Like You'. It just dawned on me, the lyrics of the chorus can be related to a friendship too. Nice. Except that 'someone alike' thought. haha! I need somebody who is different. A one-of-a-kind.(whatever that means) :/

Officeworks are super. Surprising cases are jaw-dropping. But that's what I had hope for. It will keep me busy for the next few weeks and even months. Afternoon came and I finally met the Peer Facilitators' club members. About 67 attended. Whew! My throat had a lump afterwards. The kids were too hyper. I can only hope the number will continue through March. Future activities were discussed.

Future...that's it. That's the direction I am going (we are all going) and I'm bringing with me the insights I have gained in the past. Things like;
1. Never assume everybody will reciprocate how much you care for them.
2. Loyalty can be bought for some.
3. Careful with emotional attachment. Especially when you have just known the person for a year or two.
4. Be in CONTROL with your ANGER (I should be)

Having said those, thriving through the future should mean counting my blessing while learning the lessons from life's harshness.

TGIF!♡

Tough Times won't Last. Tough People Do (Day 1)

Today is welcomed by a holy mass. It's the opening of Marian month and as a catholic school, we always grace the celebration. Gladly, I did not have difficulty finding a chair. The people I was with were very warm. Just as I prayed before getting inside the campus.

During the mass, I couldn't help but still remember everything. The dialogues. The sentences came out from her mouth that implied nothing but rubbing everything off to my face. The pain I felt that she just dared laugh at. In my head it's all playing down to my heart that it hurts. I noticed a little tear in the corners of my eyes. But I got back to my senses and started planning. That's how I deal with problems. I do not dwell. I deal with it. So the plans I came up with includes;

1. I am not going to our Director's office and ask to be transferred to the main campus nor recite my side of the story. I have nothing to prove. It will be too unfair for the person to be swapped in my post just for this petty reason.

2. It's a personal matter that will try to impede my work performance. I choose to never let that happen. I consider this job as a gift. One of the biggest favor I got from God Almighty. I am not letting it go just for one shattered friendship.

3. After this Career Guidance program, I am going to the gym again and continue with my weight goals.

4. I will submit myself for Counseling. Why not? We all need to be processed.

5. I will take care of the High School PF programssssss. It will be completely restructured.

6. I will contact my other panelist to submit my Chapter 1 & 2 revision.

7. I will never have a second thought looking at her straight in the eyes. Anytime. Anywhere. Then you can pardon for my feisty look for that just comes with the genes.

Lastly, I will make new friends since I have just reconciled with an old friend. No I am not bringing my ego problem to my grave. I am better than that. Watch me.