Thank You 2013

One more day and this year is over. As I consider this to be one of the most challenging years in my life I don't want to end it without reminiscing its highlight...

           January: I was five months pregnant; I   qualified as a Weekday Tutor of RareJob
           February: Lemra went home from NZ and I  went to Cebu to meet him then we                                visited some good old friends and my Uncle Chrys.
           May: 9th of this month is when I gave birth to a beautiful boy Alec
           June: Alec's first long road trip to Granny's place
           July: Kuya Third turned 8 and we lost Alec. ;(
           August: A historical feud between me and Pupsy
           September: FSUU hired me as one of their Guidance Coach in the Basic Education 
           October: Yana turned 6 and I was finally able to afford a quite decent celebration
           November: I turned 31 and super typhoon Yolanda hit the country the same day I                        celebrated my birthday; I received a bonus more than what is expected; My                          relationship with Lemra turned shaky; A family trip to Bukidnon gave me an                          opportunity to reunite with a friend from when I was a Freshman in College;                          Reconciliation with Pupsy
           December:  My first glance of the enticing Dahilayan Adventure Park with family; I had a chance to see another old friend in Malaybalay City after a decade; A                           realization how privilege I am to be at FSUU when I received another gift                               packs; I lost 20 lbs.

Looking back, it is a year full of swirls, surprises, odds, deceits, pains, but most of all BLESSINGS. After all, it is how you react to every event that changes the degree of your situation. ♥

Thank You 2013 and Hello 2014!!!

Justification

US

For a person like me who has enough background on Human Behavior and what could be behind it, SILENCE says a lot than actually uttering a word.

Playing a blame game on me is of no help. If I insist my point of view on how you raise your son will even make the situation worst. With what's going on right now, we are actually on the lose-lose situation. I wish I can simply beg for your cooperation to pull back the person we both dearly love. But it's easier written here than opening my mouth in front of you.

Please know that I don't have a bad blood against you or any member of the family. In fact, I wanna prove my worth even if it takes the rest of my life. For now, I don't have a problem being passive and submissive. My focus is at a different direction. That is to prosper with Lemra and with my kids through the help of our Almighty God. 

Season of Love (supposedly)

We just got home from another family trip. It wasn't planned actually. It just happened that Pup's co teachers asked to rent the van for an expedition to see the beauty of Bukidnon. I've been dying to see Dahilayan and indeed all the hearsay is correct. The place is completely enticing. I wish I had a lot of money to enjoy the rides aside from the scenic.

Maybe it comes with the earth's energy where positive and negative events happen every after a day to create a spark and color.

This morning when we were having a breakfast, Lemra and his mom had a serious argument over a share of money that is denied from him. On a personal take, I think it is really offending. I mean, not only that it's Christmas but being a mother, being sensitive to your child's needs is a must. Bills to pay is not an excuse over sacrificing what your child should have. Besides they're not in a situation where there is no juice to extract anymore. I feel really bad too.

I couldn't help but think that I may have been a contributing factor to this. In result, Lemra developed a desire to move out. On what's going to happen next is yet to be found out. But one thing is for certain, I will still celebrate Christmas counting my blessings with kids and my Babylove...

Friends for a Lifetime

Joan a.k.a. Betang and ate Marj are one of my treasured friends whom I met in my freshmen year in College. We had a blast...we were together in exploring the world's wilderness.Sorority,alcohol,club nights,boytoys...whew!

It's amazing how we still ended up meeting again after more than a decade.ü

Bygone be Bygone

My Christmas break officially started yesterday. I woke up early and went home to our town where my kids are temporarily. They celebrated "Makabayan Festival" and was mark by the grader's field demonstration. As expected, Yana stood out while my Thirdy wasn't able to join the entire performance. He was being nonconformist again that he took off his red shirt and did not have his balloon. He sped off to their classroom to change his shirt but he was too lame in running back to the stage. His 11 seconds video wasn't that bad though.

The most memorable part was, their father came and we talked for the first time. It was non sense but it was quite an interaction already. I noticed how his appearance changed. There was no glow anymore. Not the typical "crush ng bayan" anymore. Poor guy. There was no more spark left. Gosh. I never realize how I got so burnout within our relationship until now.I am so glad I made my way out.

For my kids, they are the best thing that happened to me. With Lemra and with my job now, I couldn't ask for anything more.ü

Commitment & Involvement

For the past two weeks, my relationship with Lemra is tested by deceits, fabricated stories, secrets and all that stuff. It was never easy to swallow... I struggled tremendously that I thought of quitting already.

Then I caught myself saying, "There you go again with quitting". It only makes things worst I know. The thought of leaving this man electrifies my spine... I know I will become frustrated and bitter and very unhappy without him. I may get over it through time but I'm sure the process would be hellish.

I've never felt this way towards someone my entire life and I am certain it is worth fighting for. In the name of our son Alec... there's nothin I won't do to make this last.

This Christmas, I don't need any material things but just for God Almighty to touch Lemra's heart and embrace HIS existence again.

Amen.

My 2013

For some reason I've invented this self belief that when a year ends in an even number my life is never easy. I cannot enumerate those exactly but it's what my recollection can best retrieve.

This year I bore my 3rd child with the man I have loved for the longest time. How we started was like a sweet escape where its bounded by secrecy. Though I was already separated-in-fact, I was still in a very sensitive position.Yes we have survived the society's fierces but we were greatly challenged when our most precious one had to be taken away.

To mourn is like waking up in darkness. There is no ray of sun felt. It's just cold and shiverin. Sure I could manage to laugh and project seemingly normal…these acts are bandage of such wound.

Well, its never that cruel after I got a post in FSUU. When I was told of the free education for my 2 children as soon as I get tenured, I knew then that this is fate.

We may lose a treasure but we sure can gain another which is for keeps. Still, thank you Lord.

LöVE & LöVE

As a teenager, I remember being confuse. It was quite difficult to differentiate like, love, infatuation and so forth. Whenever a guy courts , I'd give him a chance out of no deep reason. It was just all for the heck of getting involve. Mostly, the good looking guys are on my list.

Until I was 19 years old. I met him on his birthday. I was the gatecrasher. When I saw his physical wholeness under the light, I went home hanging by the thought of him. Not a year had pass when he finally noticed me and started the courtship.

It was a genuine love. I knew it was because it never faded. Fate separated us but physics brought us together again and magic rekindled our feelings for each other.

Until now that he's still in my arms...whenever a conflict rises, there's always a way of mending it rather than ending it. Because simply, love is bigger than any of it all. ♥

Legality versus Reality

While legality provides security, reality comes along and simply bites.

Hearing another story of betrayal, misled, cheated on, smashed brings me back to when I was the one who sits in it. My shoulder started to fall, that familiar lump in my throat came out while listening to a friend. I wanted to take half of the burden but it's just so impossible. I could barely open my mouth and displayed a lot of awkward gestures. (sigh)

Marriage is a holy sacrament. It's a promise that should never be broken. It's a vow of loving the person for as long as you live.But how do you know it's a love bound to last forever?

So when betrayal knocks, are you able to forgive right away to keep your family intact? Would you care more on what people will have to say or what yourself can bear?

My own answer would be,to live at peace..away from the person who betrayed me.

Individuality

Long week is over. From my Birthday bash to Lemra's day and to our Career Awareness Week.Whew!!! It was one hell of weeks...not to mention how Tacloban had been washout by Yolanda typhoon.Definitely devastating and I could never stomach watching those victims in TV. It gave me a reason to empty my old closet though. 

Anyways, what really bothered me is how someone can have the ability to "unconsciously" offend you for whatever "bitterness" reason. Being a normal human being, my initial reaction was to offend her back. It gave me pleasure when I saw a line of dissapointment on her face when I did my little stint. 

But I realize how tiny our world is and entertaining this bad thought will surely lead to something damaging. Honestly, this situation is never new to me and I am more afraid of myself than the other person for I know what I can do when I reach my boiling point. Lord Help Me...help her...help us.Amen.

The Art of Sacrifice

Sacrifice is an art. An emotional art. Does it even ring a bell to you? Oh well...it's how I justify what I feel right now. That moment when you are in a situation that you really want something badly but you can't have it because it's not for you so you have to just merely sacrifice. Otherwise, it will spark a conflict. What is so conflicting is that, you are important to the person yet you cannot be the priority because you just cannot be the most important one. It is because that's the way it is and the way it should be. 

*&$^%*@)#&#*%*%*%*%(@(#&%&(@)!_#(%&%(^)%)_!

There...the characters running inside my head. 

In times like this, what I do is I just pause for a second and whisper a prayer that God Almighty will take me back to my sanity. After all, my employer is so unbelievably generous that what I got for an advance bonus is equal to everyone who's been with the company for a year or more. That really caught me in awe. I am so staying in this organization for as long as I live. 

(happy thoughts. happy thoughts. happy thoughts) 

♥

Long & Winding Road

SemBreak is over. It's too soon but it was worth it. We went home to Bukidnon for the All Souls Day. There, I had a chance to see my friend from my freshman year in BSU. It so happened that she lives one block away from my Uncle's house. It's so amazing how our friendship is still flourishing after so many years. To think, we were only together for barely one year. She got me VS lotion and cologne. I so thank God for the advent of FB. It really connects people.

Few days from now I'm gonna be 31. Gosh. One more notch and I'm out from the calendar. Life is really like a lightning. If you blink you'll miss it. The one thing I came to realize is that, we really mature in the process. Like I am really starting to draw some big dreams now. Finish my Masters, get a Doctors degree, put up a testing center, buy properties, then a car. It's what I've always wanted...a car. Well, it was a house and a car but since Lemra is taking me where he's going so I'm just gonna worry about getting a car.  ;)

Sigh. It's been a long and winding road. All I know is I will become really old someday but I never want to be poor.  (wink)

Rainy Days

When it rains, it pours...just like marriage. 

That's how I answered during an initial interview for this job that I got now. But on rainy days...it's on again and I'm guessing it's gonna be like this until February next year. There are a lot of things thats going on in my head whenever I hear and see the rain drops. The more it gets heavy, the more memories are played in my thoughts. Interesting huh. Indeed. ;)

For one, I remember the rough days I went through when I tried to jump for a second job in the metropolitan of Cebu. Then I remember how impulsively marry the guy who impregnated me yet I knew then how cynical I am. And so I went on with the tough days where I remained tougher. If you've seen the "Wheels of Emotions", I think I've gone through all of those. Wow. I didn't realize I've been around for quite a little while already. Lol.

The best part is, after rewinding all those days in my brain, I just get up from the bed where I curl up with a pillow, and throw a big smile to Mr. Reality. 

Truly, experience is the best teacher. Regret is never in my calendar. ♥

Sembreak

"Dear kim kamustang bakasyon mo
Ako heto pa rin nababato
Bad trip talagan t'tong Meralco
Bakit brownout pa rin dito

Walang silbi sa bahay
Kundi bumabad sa telepono
O kaya'y kasama ang buong barkada
Nakatambay sa may kanto

Naalala kita pag umuulan SEMBREAK
Naalala kita pag giniginaw SEMBREAK
Naalala kita pagkakain na SEMBREAK
Naalala kita ilang bukas pa ba
Bago tayo ay magkita
Ako'y naiinip na bawat oras binibilang
Sabik na masilayan ka-ha-hah.."


This song popularized by EHeads is what I could always think of every Semestral Break. But ever since I started working, this is the only time that I got to experience real SemBreak. It feels soooo good! FSUU Rocks!

It may even be just one week but I am truly thankful for it. All I could think of is sleep, eat, watch movies, then eat then sleep. waaaah! 

♥

Throw Back Thursday

With all that's happening in the world now; flood, war, earthquake, persecution of tax robbers, tantamounting cases of murders etc. 

I begin to think that life can be too short and before we know it...woosh! we're all gone.

Human as we are, we crave for belongingness. Every step we make on a daily basis is leading towards a desire that we can gain approval from the society. That's how we make memories...with different people in different places.

Before my heartbeat voluntary stops, let me enumerate the events and experiences that have been saved in my memory bank with interest worth more than a gem or diamond.

First, when I met my true/forever love in the person of Armel. Amidst the storm we've gone through, the very long time that we were separated by fate, our path has miraculously crossed again. God gave us the most beautiful angel who helped us build a stronger foundation. So we are simply inseperable now. 
Secondly, when Thirdy and Yana was born. Watching them grow in a fast pace is a combination of struggle and joy. Nevertheless, they always give me a reason to persevere. 
Thirdly, with the last three working industries I was with. In the BPO, where I met a lot of genuine people and several good friends [Mildney, Rena, Bea, Farah, wave12, team Mirai, team Jomar and all the billing peeps, wave11 of CVG], those days when we would just pick at each other and just laugh it out, those days when we press the mute button to halt the customer and continue with our nonsense showbiz chitchats. Those days when we attack the beaches, hit the videok bars or go malling and even join the eat-all-you can pizza. Considering that I spent my 20s in that environment, it was just filled with awesomeness. With the academe world, I couldn't exactly remember how the work/management itself tore me down (emotionally and psychologically) but the support system I had from my subordinates was exceptional. We were considered as the Aces among their past employees in that office but it's funny how they hate it. Oh well. Since we all live in the same city, we still got time for a get-together occasionally which means the friendship evolved out from that never-mind-place nightmares. You don't wanna hear it.

Lastly, with my forever bff Lyn & Eds, it's a rare occasion to remain friends since you were a grader till the 30ish. I cannot imagine how many chapter it would be if we are to write the chronicles of CAROCEL. ;)

 GOD I'm so bless! ♥

The Holy Alphabet

        A-lthough things are not perfect
        B-ecause of trial or pain
        C-ontinue in thanksgiving
        D-o not begin to blame

        E-ven when the times are hard
        F-ierce winds are bound to blow
        G-od is forever able
        H-old on to what you know

        I-magine life without His love
        J-oy would cease to be
        K-eep thanking Him for all the things
        L-ove imparts to thee

        M-ove out of "Camp Complaining"
        N-o weapon that is known
        O-n earth can yield the power
        P-raise can do alone

        Q-uit looking at the future
        R-edeem the time at hand
        S-tart every day with worship
        T-o "thank" is a command

        U-ntil we see Him coming
        V-ictorious in the sky
        W-e'll run the race with gratitude
        X-alting God most high

        Y-es, there'll be good times and yes some will be bad, but...
        Z-ion waits in glory...where none are ever sad! 

     Always remember,the shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your
  knees and the floor.  For the one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything!  Amen.

  In HIS Love & Service,
        Pastor Allen

=========================================================================

I personally do not know Pastor Allen, I just click on God's Minute website and started subscribing since 2005. In as much as I want to spend time scribbling the holy bible, it frustrates me when I bump into a verse that I find confusing.

It's better to have it already interpreted. Every email I get is worth sharing and this one is just way way inspiring. 

♥

At 120lbs.

Finally able to shed 10 pounds after two months. 

Had there been a crash diet involve I think it would be minus more than 10. But I sure am happy already. Christmas season is coming and it's a time to binge on good foods. I just hope my body is done with its plateau stage and the remaining fats would just voluntary do their grand exit. 

It makes a real difference with age. Back in 2008 when I first hit the gym, I would survive the 2-hour cardio and PRT everyday. As in I'm talking Mondays to Sundays. Rain or shine. Whew! Gone are the days. I barely survive the 1 hour, 5 days a week now. Last week I made an inquiry in one of an inviting fitness place in the city, for awhile I was determined to get a kickstart with them by last week of October. I later realize I couldn't do it. Zumba is my second choice. Hopefully before I turn 31. ;)

Gestalt Prayer

"I am I. You are you. I'm not here in this world to live up to your expectations, nor you to live up to mine. If by chance we meet, it's beautiful. If not, it can't be helped."

Yes, I've learned this principle and have been applying it for the longest time. Half of my life, I've been very independent. I depend my decisions to no one so at the end of the day I can take the full responsibility of my actions.

Until change comes along which is inevitable. I don't even know how to start spelling it out. All I know is I am genuinely happy with the person I am with now. Only that, being with this person entails compromises. Like we have to be in his parent's house because of a lot of valid reasons. 

This is just one of those times when I feel that every angle of my movement is measured and counted. I'm starting to not like it. Tsk tsk. 

Insecurity as a Cancer

No one would believe me if I say I am insecure. Unfortunately, I am...now. I loathe the feeling. I hope it's only because I am still fat after five months from giving birth. 

Here's the thing, I still stalk my partner's ex fiancees' FB page. I still check her old pictures which I already saw. Though I laugh at her stupidity as manifested by her grammatical errors on her status messages, I still end up entertaining this insecurity. If I am to assess it, it's already at stage 4. Benign. Whew!

It's in my full awareness that I have to work on this. First and foremost, Lemra and I undoubtedly love each other too much. I am so positive that we are inseparable. 

I think that's where I need to dwell on. Bow. 

Ber-Months

This Christmas I'd be lying if I only want world peace. In God's will, I wanna be able to buy gifts to my loved ones.


Anyhow here's my Christmas list;
1. Mama and Nanay - jewelry
2. Tatay and Babe - sando
3. kiddos - toys
4. lil Sis - abubut
5. Rena - blouse
6. girlfriends (numbers is yet to be determined) - abubuts
7. boy friends - no idea yet
8. myself - laptop, S4 (lol)


 I'm still debating over thoughts of including my _ _ _ _ on the list. 

♥

Lost Mail

Dear Papa,

I went to church last Sunday and the message I got from God Almighty was, "As a father of your children, the greatest gift you could give is to love their mother." 

I want to thank you for sending me to school that I am able to grasp and interpret the message preached to us. It means, please love our Mama with all your heart and mind. Being said so, it is very unbecoming for you to declare that you love her yet you have another woman visible to all our neighbor's sight. It took me until this age to finally tell you that I cannot take it anymore. Pretending to be okey that you have a mistress is no longer acceptable in our household. And please quit blaming your childhood years. Your past is never a basis of the choices you make now. If we cannot suffice your emotional need, then you should have never started this family in the first place. 

But what choice do I have? I'm just your daughter. If it's not for you I would never be here. All I can do is to pray. I will pray without ceasing. 

It's not that I hate you. It's not that I want you to walk away. I want you to come back to us. I want you to leave your woman and just appreciate our value. I want you to please love our Mama back.

I hope that's not too demanding.

Weekend Blues

I wonder how long will grieving take? Because I don't have forever.

Weekend routine had been broken recently due to some "important" matters that my partner couldn't afford to refuse. Everytime he ask for permission to go somewhere my mouth couldn't seem to open and say NO. Because I'm inlove and I respect his freedom.

It's just that this afternoon I couldn't hold back my emotions anymore. Alec's precious memory had been running in my head again and I couldn't escape from it anymore. I got no one to hold to except for this keyboard and perhaps a tissue to wipe off my messy face.

This is one of those moment when I wish it's just like what happened to Lazaro and Isabelle's daughter in the soap opera. Their daughter was abducted and had been denied from them for ten years and they finally knew who she is now.

I wish Alec is just being kidnap...by God and will eventually return soon. ;(

Because I know myself enough. One day I feel okey, another day I don't. And if I don't, I think about horrible things like leaving this place and just vanish forever.

45 Years a Slave

Once upon a time in a far away land along boulevard...there's a small kingdom ruled by an ungrateful queen. She had been a widow for so long and has left with four adopted children. June 2010 came when a young woman entered such kingdom as a worker. The woman's career began to rise when the Queen gave her the leverage. Little do the woman know that she's never allowed to open her mouth. And that all the workers are meant to nod their heads.

Years passed, the poor woman began to notice how poisonous the environment is. The queen has her favorites who are untouchables. She also had sidekicks who are blood related to her and all of them claim to be "believers" but behave in a way that you could see fangs in their mouth.

A day came when the woman couldn't help but retaliated. She opened her mouth and spoke her mind because she believed she was treated inhumanly. She was accuse of being proud, was never forgiven after a 3-page apology letter, she was put into sanction without any feedback, she was demoted without due process...to sum it up, it was a constructive dismissal.

The woman would have chose to stay despite the struggles because there was a contract that binded her and the queen. She chose to resign from her post and opted to be at another office. The queen allowed her but perhaps just whispered to a messenger to let the woman know that she has to settle something before getting her 30th pay. That significant information never got to the woman. So when payday came, she went to the cashier's office. To her surprise, she was denied from the wage she should have because she's never told that she had to comply something first. The woman begged for mercy. Literally begged. But they all let their fangs out and just shooed her away.

It was the day that marked the breaking of the law by that woman worker. She walked away and never came back. She'd been called number of times by some other administrators to settle her debt but she never bothered to respond.

Until...in a restaurant one evening, the woman was shaken by the prince's presence. After almost a year of being out of sight, their way has crossed in a place where everyone can be so closed that the prince could have just reached out and slapped her face for walking away like that.

But the prince never did anything. At least at that moment.

So the poor woman is kinda bothered now. :|

How Do I Love Thee (own version)

I love thee that I hate your ex fiancee...

I love thee that I get paranoid when you are away...

I love thee that it kills me when you keep your silence..

I love thee that I never want to miss your presence...

I love thee for the rest of me...

...in a countless ways, whether the sun is up or the sky is grey.

A Child's Innoscence

Oh how lovely children are. With their flashy genuine smile while they talk to you about the details of their lives. So confident that they never hesitate to answer every question you ask. Their non sense stories appear to be a joke to me at some point that I afford to laugh and they don't because they meant it. 

I was on a state of entertaining the thought of my loss last July again when I decided to conduct an interview with some of the grade school transferees.

It went really fun just as I expected and I can't wait for Monday to come to meet another group.  

This is 30

Maturity is not limited to physical appearance.Emotional and Psychological  stability evolves as well. I remember being a career woman for the first time, it was like working to pay my cosmetics and my desired colored mobile phone. Personal wants had always been my motivation to work and earn.

Things change when I had to embrace a serious responsibility. I started to prioritize stuff to even deprive myself. It must have been an extreme deprivation for I remember becoming defensive, feisty and projection was my mechanism to cope. I had several failures; marriage, graduate studies, career, motherhood etc. Oftentimes, I would walk out from a difficult situation. I face them for a little while and then I just suddenly cross the bridge.

I guess it's about to change now.Looking back, my 20s was a mess. Somehow I have developed this sense of determination. I've never felt this urge to push myself into losing 20lbs. before the year ends and I've never been this focus to my long term goal which is to acquire tenureship with my present employment.

This is 30 I'd say. It's not about pleasure anymore. It's about how you end up when you get older. From now on, I wouldn't mind being 30 for the rest of my life. :)

On Another Note

It's already 17th and my first salary is not available yet. For some reason they mislooked my account number and failed to include me on the payroll account. It's kinda surprising though. For an organization that I perceive to be way organized. 

I was instructed to get it from the cashier's office tomorrow and that I have to get a payslip first from another office and so on and so on...

Don't judge me. I'm not complaining. After all, who am I to whine? It's a place where there is tranquility. Not just the company itself but as well as the city where I live. I meant, as compared to what is happening in Zamboanga City now. It's heartbreaking to see old men, toddlers and even babies running and escaping from the shootout between rebels and soldiers.

Let's pray for our brothers and sisters.

Compare & Contrast

My 2-week of employment here made me realize what I've been missing. For one, our Superior here is acquainted with the word "thank you". The telephone doesn't ring every minute, nobody bothers to call and tell us how we just did an epic fail after the sleepless nights of planning a student activity, our drinking water is free, we have two printers and there's a computer unit intended for each cubicle, a snow cool aircondition unit installed in each cubicle, the people around seems so warm, I don't have to teach, I don't have to retaliate to frustrated bullies, I don't have to convert my feelings of fear into hate, my tax deduction will surely be remitted to the government, I will surely be given a chance to explain myself if I commit a serious offense (stated on the handbook w/c we're encourage to read). No role ambiguity blocking our way. We surely could sort things out on how to effectively serve the students without having to struggle whether our proposal will be approved or not. I could go on with a lot of comparing but it doesn't matter anymore. I never felt this protected and secure.For someone like me who cares more about the environment than the money and position, I think God has really found a place for me despite my shortcomings. I'd be always thankful. :)

Coffee Float & Career Path

My long list of employment requirements is now down to three or four... it's still a lot but I'm almost there.Whew!

I remember getting a job two months after I graduated from college. I had no effort at all in getting in. I just brought with me my recommendation letter. Astig! But then when the first school year ended I craved for more. I thought having a 5-digit monthly salary would be cooler.  With perseverance and determination, I landed in BPO and made a lot of money for 5 years and 4 months to be exact. True, it was a lot of money but I never got rich. Ha!

My journey continued when I decided to settle in the neighboring city of my hometown. In the historical Butuan is where I started a career in a College Institution. I bumped my head and enrolled in Masters degree, then when got bullied by colleagues and was "constructively dismissed", I bumped my head again and simply walked away without a word.
I sat still in my shelter doing online English tutorials. My life was so simple. I didn't even have to wear a bra while working, as long as I got my make up on and that takes care of it. I just have to speak English fluently and excellently. Until a friend convinced me to step out once more and apply for another job. To cut to the chase, I'm hired again as a Guidance Counselor. For some reason, this job title haunts me from the very beginning. I always tell myself, I'd rather be a Professor or Psychologist than to be a Guidance Counselor. But it has opened its door for me again. 

This will be my sixth job. I want it to be my last. If there's a lesson I've learned from my previous employment specially those that turned sour, it would be staying tougher on tough times. To please the Lord Almighty instead of pleasing men around, to stay humble and passionate to what I do. So just like a coffee float, making a career choice and plotting out your career path is a mix of bitterness and sweetness.

#excited mode lang. ;)

Burnout

When "No Other Woman" hit the box office, a lot of film makers mimic the story line. Sure enough they were successful in conveying the masses. It even happened in real life. It happened to me. It happened to my mother. The only difference is, my mother stayed and I didn't.
For one, if I chose to forgive that cheater and gave him another chance, our household would never be peaceful again. I know that the betrayal behavior will always come up in the middle of nowhere.
I'm saying this because it happened to my parents. I am a living witness of their feud over my father's infedility. Surprisingly, my father never admits it and still keeps doing it. So this evening his mistress had the nerve to send me destructive text messages. Things that implies how stable her relationship is with my father. I snapped when she used my father's number in texting me. I knew it was about time to express my rage. The moment my father walked through the door I became a monster. I started screaming and before I know it I threw his clothes outside and destroyed his phone.
What I don't understand is what makes an unfaithful man difficult to humble down and just leave their mistress or leave the family to stop each party's agony?
I wish it is that easy to let Papa know how painful it is for us already. His bitch acting like the victim and he can't even tame her for us.
Lord I know I am suppose to honor my father and mother...but what I saw from Papa is just so disappointing that I don't think he deserves some little respect or love anymore.

The first video I've created..

Happy Anniversary to us RJ!

It was a rainy evening of August 15, 2012 when I first met my online students. I remember grabbing a dinner from Jollibee first to treat myself for the big day when the rain suddenly poured unstoppably.

I ran for my life towards the house from the hi-way since there was no more pedalled tricycle to give me a ride. Instead of feeling devastated, I just compared the heavy rain to a life's problem that night. If I stopped running, that meant I give up. 

So I found myself home safely but was soak like a duckling who threw itself into the pond.

From that day on, I'm still bubbling with Japanese folks who never failed me by the way.

Happy Anniversary to us RareJob! Cheers! 

A Letter

A TIME TO WEEP, AND A TIME TO LAUGH; A TIME TO
MOURN, AND A TIME TO DANCE.
( ECCLESIASTES 3:4 *NKJV )

Dear Catherine,
Well you are in luck, for today is a time to laugh! So sit
back and enjoy the following message from one of our
Sister's In Christ. Soon you will be saying: THEN OUR
MOUTH WAS FILLED WITH LAUGHTER, AND OUR
TONGUE WITH SINGING. And just as Sarah said when
God told her she would have a child at her advanced age.
You will be saying: "GOD HAS MADE ME LAUGH, AND
ALL WHO HEAR WILL LAUGH WITH ME."
( PSALM 21:6 ) & ( GENESIS 21:6 )

Squirrels in Church!

A small town had only three Churches in it but they all
suffered with the same problem. You see, all three had a
serious problem with squirrels getting into the Church.

Now each Church, in its own fashion, had a meeting to
deal with the problem.

The first Church congregation decided that it was
predestined that the squirrels be in the Church, and that
they would just have to live with them.

The Second Church decided they should deal with the
squirrels lovingly . So they humanely trapped them and
released them in a park at the edge of town. However within
3 days, they had all returned and were all back in the church.

The Third Church came up with the best solution. They
voted the squirrels in as members. Now they only see them
at Christmas and Easter.

The moral of the story is: Don't be a Squirrel, attend your
Church regularly! ( Just a bit of Saturday Humor, Catherine,
please forgive me. )

In HIS Love & Service,
Papa Jesus